In this blog post, we will explore 4 major things you provide for your daughter as a dad. I share this with leaders I coach who have daughters, and while it is especially impactful to share with daughters in their teen years, I believe it can be impactful when they are adults as well.
It can also be offered by a third party (grand parent or close family friend, church youth leader, etc.), as daughters can sometimes hear better from another mature adult who cares about them, than their own father. But a dad can use this for a powerful time with his daughter.
It can also be beneficial for teenage sons to either be there when it is shared, or for you to have a one-on-one with your son separately to explain this to him – it will help him become the man described at the end of this article.
The best way to begin this conversation with your daughter is to ask her what she believes are the 4 major things a dad provides for a daughter. She may guess them all, but you ultimately explain it as follows (don’t just list – explain each):
- Love – Let her know you love her more than she could ever understand. Remind her that other than her mom, she is the woman you love most on earth, and that your love is unconditional.
- Protection – This a great follow on from number one. Here you get to reiterate your love for her, and how it motivates you to protect her, even with your life. Communicate your commitment to do everything in your power to keep her safe always as she rests in your love for her.
- Provision – Describe how you love to see her smile and be happy in the life you work hard to provide for her. Explain to her that the reason you work hard and make sacrifices is because you want to make sure she is well provided for. Share with her how much it delights you to give her as much as you can – not just the basics of food and shelter, but also gifts and experiences.
- Destiny – Express your desire to see her become the woman she is meant to be. Talk about your calling and commitment as her dad to encourage, teach, correct, praise, and involve yourself in her life so that she can live life to the full, expand her gifts and talents and develop her unique personality.
Another reason having this conversation with your daughter is so powerful, and why the relationship between a dad and daughter is such a unique one, is that you will be giving up your special position to the right young man someday. When your daughter is young, you are the most important man in her life. Giving up that position and willingly taking a number two position is not something you will do lightly, or to the wrong person, which is why you are so protective in the first place. You know what is ultimately at stake.
As a dad to a daughter, when the time for her to get married gets closer, you are looking diligently at every guy she brings home to see if that young man has the ability to provide these 4 things for your daughter. You want to see a young man who loves her more than any other woman on earth, and loves her so much he would die for her. One who has prepared himself to make a good living to provide a wonderful life for your daughter, is mature and assured of his own identity, so that he focuses on helping your daughter become the woman she is meant to be.
But until the right one comes along, every young man will be considered a potential thief or imposter, wanting to steal what belongs to the right man. Some day, when that right young man comes along, you will recognize him and so will your daughter.
