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Bob Rockwell

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10 Attributes of a Mature Man

by Bob Rockwell
written by Bob Rockwell
Age is usually one of the main words we associate with maturity. However, the reality is there is more to being mature than simply getting older. The posture of our hearts and attitude towards life says a lot more about our level of maturity.
 
Growing up, I was blessed to have a dad who was great at sharing wisdom often and then allowing my brothers and me to make choices as to whether we applied what he shared. The attributes of a mature man I share with you today originated mostly with my dad who to this day, despite the fact he is no longer with us, remains my greatest hero.
 
Unfortunately, these days some of what my dad shared with me and my brothers may at first appear to be “old fashioned” or even sexist. It is not. These attributes could be, and I think should be, applied to all men and especially to dads.  Admittedly, I grasped most of the value later as I “matured” and had children. I hope you might choose to experience the positive impact of these attributes as a dad a little earlier in your life regardless of what stage or season you are in today.
 
Here are the 10 attributes of the mature man.
 
The mature man …
 
1. Strives for personal WHOLENESS – he is committed to living free from toxic emotions or personal demons.
 

2. Focuses on GIVING more than receiving – generosity is much more than money to the mature man.

 
3. Holds a mostly POSITIVE point of view in relationships with others – he believes everyone has value, that anything is possible, and expects surprises.
 
4. Identifies as a LIFELONG STUDENT – he knows if you stop learning, you stop truly living.
 
5. Lives life from an ETERNAL perspective – he recognizes that his legacy will have a lasting impact.
 
6. Tells himself, and seeks the TRUTH at all costs – he knows the alternative: self-deception and denial costs way more.
 
7. Takes the HIGH ROAD – he is magnanimous, quick to forgive, and has a reputation as a class act.
 
8. Seeks and treasures the true wealth of close authentic RELATIONSHIPS over every other kind of wealth.
 
9. Assumes 100% RESPONSIBILITY for the strength of his marriage – it’s not up to his bride to be the first to say ‘I am sorry’ or make sacrifices. 
 
10. Understands the most powerful force in life is LOVE – he wants to reflect back on his life , and proudly say: “This is what I accomplished with my life and who I impacted for good because I truly cared about all who God put in my life.”
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Teach Your Children to Have Heroes

by Bob Rockwell
written by Bob Rockwell
Great dads recognize and appreciate the positive influencers in their life who have helped shape them into the men they are today. They will even describe several positive influencers as heroes if they are fortunate. Another thing about great dads is they are intentional about being a positive influence, beginning with their children.
 
In this post, I want to share an exercise I have shared with many of the executives I coach, especially around Christmastime as a “non-monetary” gift to their kids.
 
Here is how it works:
 
  • Tell your child you have three heroes in your life. Describe the traits of each that make them one of your big heroes, one after the other, without revealing their names until you share that hero’s list of traits.
  • After reading the first list, reveal the name of your first hero. This should be a person you genuinely and greatly admire.
  • For your second hero, list positive and admirable traits of your wife and then reveal to your kids that it is mom. 
  • Finally, your third hero’s traits are those you see in your child, ultimately revealing their name as your third hero.
  • If you have more than one child, you can combine their admirable traits or have more heroes! This is worth some thought, as your list of traits are what you will regularly encourage and praise them for as you observe and see them exhibited in their daily life.
 
I encourage you to document this and perhaps give it to your kids as a gift, expressing your gratitude for them and to them for the positive impact they make on your life.
 
By performing this exercise, you are communicating to your kids that you greatly admire them and their mom and that you see them becoming heroes to others someday. You are expressing your belief that your kids will be great influencers in the world and that you are proud of the people they are becoming.
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Raising Daughters – 4 Major Things You Provide As a Dad and How to Talk About It

by Bob Rockwell
written by Bob Rockwell
In this blog post, we will explore 4 major things you provide for your daughter as a dad. I share this with leaders I coach who have daughters, and while it is especially impactful to share with daughters in their teen years, I believe it can be impactful when they are adults as well.
 
It can also be offered by a third party (grand parent or close family friend, church youth leader, etc.), as daughters can sometimes hear better from another mature adult who cares about them, than their own father. But a dad can use this for a powerful time with his daughter.
 
It can also be beneficial for teenage sons to either be there when it is shared, or for you to have a one-on-one with your son separately to explain this to him – it will help him become the man described at the end of this article.
 

The best way to begin this conversation with your daughter is to ask her what she believes are the 4 major things a dad provides for a daughter. She may guess them all, but you ultimately explain it as follows (don’t just list – explain each):  

  1. Love – Let her know you love her more than she could ever understand. Remind her that other than her mom, she is the woman you love most on earth, and that your love is unconditional.  
  2. Protection – This a great follow on from number one. Here you get to reiterate your love for her, and how it motivates you to protect her, even with your life. Communicate your commitment to do everything in your power to keep her safe always as she rests in your love for her.
  3. Provision – Describe how you love to see her smile and be happy in the life you work hard to provide for her. Explain to her that the reason you work hard and make sacrifices is because you want to make sure she is well provided for.  Share with her how much it delights you to give her as much as you can – not just the basics of food and shelter, but also gifts and experiences.
  4. Destiny – Express your desire  to see her become the woman she is meant to be. Talk about your calling and commitment as her dad to encourage, teach, correct, praise, and involve yourself in her life so that she can live life to the full, expand her gifts and talents and develop her unique personality.
Another reason having this conversation with your daughter is so powerful, and why the relationship between a dad and daughter is such a unique one, is that you will be giving up your special position to the right young man someday. When your daughter is young, you are the most important man in her life. Giving up that position and willingly taking a number two position is not something you will do lightly, or to the wrong person, which is why you are so protective in the first place. You know what is ultimately at stake.
 
As a dad to a daughter, when the time for her to get married gets closer, you are looking diligently at every guy she brings home to see if that young man has the ability to provide these 4 things for your daughter. You want to see a young man who loves her more than any other woman on earth, and loves her so much he would die for her. One who has prepared himself to make a good living to provide a wonderful life for your daughter,  is mature and assured of his own identity, so that he focuses on helping your daughter become the woman she is meant to be.
 
But until the right one comes along, every young man will be considered a potential thief or imposter, wanting to steal what belongs to the right man. Some day, when that right young man comes along, you will recognize him and so will your daughter.
 
 
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