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The 5 Best Books For New and Expecting Dads

by Olise Atenaga
written by Olise Atenaga

Being prepared as a new and expecting dad is essential. The 5 best books outlined below offer a blend of humor, practical advice, and vital insights to help any new and expecting dad feel more prepared, confident, and engaged throughout the pregnancy journey and beyond.  

1. The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be  – Armin A. Brott and Jennifer Ash

This classic guide provides month-by-month information on what to expect during pregnancy, with a focus on the emotional, financial, and physical changes that both partners will experience. It offers practical tips and advice, making it one of the most comprehensive guides for dads-to-be.

Get the book here.

2. We’re Pregnant! The First-Time Dad’s Pregnancy Handbook – Adrian Kulp

Tailored for first-time dads and written in a straightforward and humorous way, this book offers practical advice on supporting your partner, preparing for birth, and understanding each stage of pregnancy, helping dads feel more involved and confident.

Get the book here.

3. Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads – Gary Greenberg and Jeannie Hayden

This book takes a fun and hands-on approach to fatherhood. It’s packed with real-life tips on everything from swaddling to diaper changing, along with humor to ease the anxieties of new dads.

Get the book here.

4. The New Dad’s Playbook: Gearing Up for the Biggest Game of Your Life – Benjamin Watson

Former NFL player Benjamin Watson brings a refreshing and motivational approach to preparing for fatherhood. This book focuses on practical strategies, faith, and how to support your partner throughout pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond.

Get the book here.

5. The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions – Penny Simkin

If you want to be fully prepared for the birthing experience, this is a must-read. It covers everything about labor and delivery, providing dads with the knowledge and tools to support their partner during childbirth confidently.

Get the book here.

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Words: How I Use Them to Build My Kids

by Olise Atenaga
written by Olise Atenaga
It was the first day of the month, and like every month for the last several years, my phone rang. Hearing the phone ring across my desk, I sensed who was calling and reached for my cell phone. My guess was accurate. It was my dad. He calls me several times a month, but without fail on the first day of every month. 
 
Our conversations over the years have focused on different things, but his closing words after every call have remained constant, encouraging, and made a difference in my life. 
 
Right before the line goes dead after every call, my dad would say “I love you, son.” “I’m praying for you.” 
 
I have heard those words multiple times, but the effect is always brand new and never fails to lift up my spirit and help me face life with more determination.
 
Hearing these words repeatedly from my dad has served as a reminder that words have tremendous power to build up or pull down. And that no one is too old or too young to benefit from hearing good words. 
 
As a result, I strive daily to speak words that lift up my kids. There have been times I used words I regretted, but as I gain a deeper understanding of the power of words, I’m developing the ability to use the power of my words to build my kids even when their actions push me to want to say otherwise. 
 
I have learned that in those few moments when you’re pressured to say something in the heat of the moment, it is better to stay quiet until you’re in the right frame of mind, and have something positive to say or something that can be delivered positively.
 
Delivering life-building words will require you to be intentional. I like how the book of Proverbs states this in the Bible. It says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”
 
We are all products of words that have been spoken to and about us, and as dads, we impact the present and frame the future of our kids with our words.
 
Everyone needs to hear good words spoken to them regularly and your kids deserve to hear them, especially from you.
Here are some words amongst others I say regularly to my kids and why:
 
  • I love you – One of the greatest human need is to be accepted. Nothing says you’re accepted quite like ‘I love you.’ Verbalizing my love often and continuously reinforces the truth that they are accepted.
  • I believe in you always – Beginning at a very young age, kids love to please their dads. I have not met a child who intentionally wanted to disappoint their dad (unless they’ve been repeatedly disappointed by their dad). The reality is that failure and mistakes will happen in a child’s life. Hearing those five words, especially from you makes a difference and strengthens their resolve to live their best life. During seasons of success, failure and in between, I have witnessed the effect on my kids every time I tell them, ‘I believe in you always.’ 
  • You’re God’s masterpiece – I want my kids to know they’ve a loving heavenly father who created them as unique individuals in His image, and loves them way beyond anyone of us can fully fathom. I want them to know and remember they are special and important, that there is a God and He is with them always and will never leave them because to Him they are precious. 
Are the words you speak to and about your kids life-building? What would be possible if you decided to be intentional about the words you speak?
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5 Truths Every Dad-to-be Must know

by Olise Atenaga
written by Olise Atenaga
Each year across the world, the lives of millions of men begin to change when they hear these words: “you’re going to be a dad.” or “I’m pregnant.” Some times, it is planned so they anticipate it, and in some cases they’re taken by surprise.
 
After receiving this life transforming news, many dads-to-be don’t know where to turn to get all the information they need to prepare and assist them during what is the start of a significant shift in their lives, causing them to either stumble around while trying to make sense of it all or remain in the dark.
 
Regardless of which category you fall into, having a baby has been known to send even the toughest of men into a loop of constant worry, uncertainty and a feeling of exclusion and inadequacy.
 
If you or someone you know feels this way, there is hope and it starts with knowing these 5 truths:

1. If you feel anxious, you’re not alone

Dads-to-be and experienced dads feel the same anxiety you are experiencing. Concerns about what kind of father you’ll be, costs associated with having a child or another child, and how your relationship with your spouse or partner will change are some of the issues new and veteran dads have to work through. Though these concerns are common, you must take every step possible to prevent them from dominating you. 
 
Dealing with these concerns can be an uphill battle, but redirecting the time and energy worrying takes can be very helpful. For example, one concerned dad-to-be who worked in a bank during the day spent his evenings building a cradle for his baby in his basement after his wife had gone to bed. Another, a computer programmer, spent his free time creating a program he planned to teach his child later. 
 
After two kids, I can say that some of mine and the concerns of other dads-to-be at the time were  slightly exaggerated. The truth is most of the things I was anxious about turned out fine and my guess is it will be the same for you. 

2. Having a baby can be expensive

Expenses related to having a baby can quickly and easily start to add up, especially if it’s your first time. When my son was born, we purchased all types of baby items.  Some we needed and used a lot, others we hardly used and a lot of the items we purchased just didn’t get used. 
 
So while you may be excited and tempted to buy all the latest baby toys and gadgets on display at your local store or on Amazon, purchase only the items you absolutely need, and as your baby grows and settles into their new home, you can assess and make additional purchases. Save your money to purchase formula and diapers as these two items alone will cut deep into your pocket!

3. Your wife or partner will need your help every step of the way

It will be more than you are accustomed to doing, and you’ll be tempted to hide behind your work, hobby or whatever else you can come up with. But you’ll need to recommit daily to being there for her because she needs you so she can stay focused on keeping herself and your baby healthy. You can start being there for her by helping out more with the house work and kids if you are parents already, attending hospital visits, new parenting classes and preparing your home to welcome your baby.  Experts have stated that getting involved early and at every level, not only makes things easier for the mother, but it also keeps you from feeling left out. 

4. It’s never too early to start interacting with your baby

Bonding with your child doesn’t have to wait until birth. It can start during those first nine months of development. Through touch and sound, you can begin the bonding process. Touching your partner’s stomach, speaking, singing and reading  to your baby will help your little one get to know you faster. From as early as 16 weeks, babies can begin to hear sounds. 
 
Prenatal researchers believe that from at least six months of pregnancy onward, babies are aware of and influenced by what’s going on in the outside world. Research has also found that if dads speak to a baby before birth, the newborn will recognize dad’s voice. Your voice and touch will be different from mom’s and your baby will pick that up. 

5. You’ll need all the help and support you can get

No man is an island, so find and receive the support you need. One way you can find support is by looking up dad support groups online and in your local area. Also, if you have friends who are new or veteran dads, speak to them or spend some time with them and their kids. This can help you process some of the anxiety, and provide ideas on how to deal with the changes and challenges you’ll encounter during your journey.
 
The key I have found to successfully navigating the ‘dad-to-be’ season is not in knowing all the answers, but in getting fully involved from day one despite your unpreparedness. It’s how I learned and continue to learn to be a dad. The more involved you’re from the beginning, the more involved you will be as a parent for the long run.
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3 Keys to Winning as a Dad

by Olise Atenaga
written by Olise Atenaga
Fatherhood is a marathon not a sprint. Unlike any role we get to play as men, being a dad is lifelong responsibility. It’s a journey that will require more of you than anything else.  Ask anyone who has ever run a marathon and they will tell you running a marathon is no small feat. It  takes commitment and  intentional preparation to pull it off.
 
Runners who successfully run and finish a marathon  dedicate time to preparing for the race, and part of that preparation centers around their mindset. Running and finishing your race as a dad is no different. It requires a mindset that can carry you through the finish line.
 
Here are three things to keep in mind that can help you run your fatherhood race well.

1. Live Good Values

Whether you are a first-time dad or seasoned pro, good values set the tone and pace of your fatherhood journey. They are critical components that guide our decisions and behavior from the moment our kids are born and through every life phase, transition and event we get to experience with them as dads.
 
Good values are important because nothing impacts your life every day more than your values.  They create stability,  keep us fulfilled and strong, provide structure and meaning, and help us to live more stable lives. The values we embrace and practice serve as anchors that help us stay true to ourselves. We are today where our values have brought us,  and we will be tomorrow where our values take us. 
 
Imagine how much further you can go as a dad if you make it a priority to live good values all the time? Imagine how much further in life your kids can go when they watch you model good values daily?  You see our ability to make a lasting impact and difference through the values we live may require a lot from us, but anything worthwhile is uphill and the return on investment it produces surpasses the effort, energy and time we invest in living good values. 
 
Living good values empowers us not only  to run our race, but also to run it successfully through the finish line. It becomes a lasting legacy that can pass on to generations and make a difference in the world.

2. Stay focused on your race (Don’t compare)

It’s so much easier today to compare how our life is going with how other people’s lives are looking. Comparing is a joy stealer. It’s a self-imposed and stifling outlook that robs us of our ability to live out our best lives as dads. In addition to stealing our joy, it compromises our focus, and can lead to complacency.
 
Let’s imagine on your fatherhood journey you are a 6 on a 1-10 scale. If you are comparing yourself to someone who is a 5, you will hardly make any effort to get better, and if you are comparing yourself to someone who is a 7, chances are you will ease off when you reach an 8, but what if you could be a 9 or 10? 
 
Staying focused and running your race in your lane keeps you in control. It makes you an asset and most valuable to the people you love, because no matter how hard we try, we cannot successfully run our fatherhood race in another person’s lane. We each have unique gifts, insights, temperament, resources, etc. to impact the kids and people within our sphere of influence. Our goal  should be aiming for constant improvement and growth in our journey, not making comparisons to someone else’s journey.

3. Keep running (Don’t quit)

Charlie “Rocket” Jabaley had a lifelong dream of becoming an athlete. As an overweight successful music mogul, he never saw this as possibility until a brain tumor forced him to make some life changes. Determined to change his life and make a difference, one of the goals he set was to run the Boston Marathon. 
 
One day, his coach asked him to run ten miles as part of his training to prepare for the Boston Marathon. Two miles into the ten mile run, Charlie was exhausted and felt he couldn’t go on. He wanted to quit, go back home and watch TV. But in that moment, he  reminded himself of the goal – qualifying for the Boston Marathon – and chose to push through the doubts bombarding his mind, and the pain and discomfort he was feeling all over his body. Charlie went on to complete the ten mile run, running the last five miles at his fastest because he knew this – to achieve his dream, he had to keep running.
 
Quitting is a state of mind we reinforce every time we throw in the towel. We were created to make a difference, and on the mission to make a difference there will be obstacles that trip, delay, disrupt and disillusion us. Just like Charlie Rocket, in our race to live out the dream of being good dads, we will experience the temptation to stop running towards the best version of ourselves as dads. In those pivotal moments,  we must pick ourselves up and get back to the business of living on purpose to make a difference.
 
If you feel like all is lost because you lost your running pace or dropped out of the race all together, you are not alone. You can still get back on your lane and finish your race. You don’t have to fade out because of  a setback. The purpose of your fatherhood race is not to look strong, but to run your race and finish well. The race is not to the swift or strong, but to those who endure to the end. Your setback point can be a new starting line. It’s not over until you finish well, so get back up and finish what you started.
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