In most places, Chick-fil-A is renowned as the ultimate standard for fried chicken and excellent service. So, when my 11-year-old daughter suggested we create our version of their chicken nugget, I enthusiastically agreed.
It was a sweltering and overcast Wednesday evening in Texas. I hurried to the store to gather the ingredients required for the recipe she discovered online. After I navigated traffic and three grocery stores, I seriously considered reneging on my promise to do this with her. When I returned home, we embarked on the chicken preparation journey, meticulously cutting it up, whipping the batter, and combining the necessary ingredients. However, there was an ingredient that didn’t quite fit the bill: my less-than-ideal attitude.
Regrettably, I wasn’t fully present in this opportunity to create cherished memories with my daughter. My impatience, irritability, and distraction cut through the preparation and cooking process. Despite my awareness of my attitude and attempts to adjust, I couldn’t summon my best self that evening.
Nonetheless, we pressed on, successfully crafting the chicken and fries, indulging in our culinary masterpiece, and tidying up afterward.
As I reflected on my attitude that evening, it gnawed at my conscience throughout the night and into the following day. When I finally had a moment with my daughter, I expressed gratitude for our joint endeavor to replicate Chick-fil-A. I also apologized for my lackluster attitude, assuring her I would do better next time. In response, she smiled, gave me a warm embrace, and said, “That’s okay, Dad. I didn’t notice, but I appreciate your apology.”
Although a part of me remained uncertain if she had perceived my less-than-ideal attitude due to my efforts to make adjustments, I firmly believed she deserved a more positive attitude from me. Hence, it was essential for me to apologize.
I believe when we apologize to our children when we make mistakes, misunderstand their needs, or inadvertently cause them distress -whether our faults are glaringly apparent or go unnoticed – it serves the following purpose:
- It conveys “I value you and our relationship”: An apology communicates to your child that they hold significance in your life. It signifies that you recognize and respect them enough to acknowledge when you have fallen short. Every word and action from a parent to a child sends a message. As a parent, you hold a place of power and authority in your relationship with someone dependent on you. When you transition from a place of power to a posture of humility, they perceive themselves and you differently.
- It demonstrates a growth mindset: Mistakes and imperfections are inherent to our human experience. No one goes through life without making mistakes. It is easy to become overwhelmed by our mistakes and attempt to hide them instead of viewing them as opportunities for growth and improvement. When you offer an apology, you convey that you are a person in progress, capable of change.
- It sets the stage for accountability and improvement: Apologizing communicates that you recognize something was awry and signifies your commitment to do better. By taking responsibility and apologizing, you establish a new or higher standard against which you wish to measure yourself and invite others to hold you to this new or higher standard.
As dads, we have a unique opportunity to shape our children’s lives. Embracing the power of apologies is an integral part of this journey. Saying “I’m sorry” is not a sign of weakness but a testament to our love, humility, and commitment to our children’s well-being. Apologies can mend hearts, deepen relationships, and create a nurturing environment where our children can thrive emotionally, socially, and psychologically.
